


The Cabin

by TooYoungToFeelThisTired



Series: What if? [7]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternative Timeline, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Feelings Realization, Mentally Older Man/Younger Woman, No Incest, Older Woman/Younger Man, Pseudo-Incest, Romance, alone in the woods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-03-06 12:06:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18850735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooYoungToFeelThisTired/pseuds/TooYoungToFeelThisTired
Summary: Four years ago Five walked home and found out Luther locked Vanya up because of her powers. Of course he ran away with her.





	1. Her

When Vanya was younger very young maybe four of five years old, she used to have a set of bells right above her old window. They would rang with the speed of wind whether it was too strong they would create an almost unbearable sound of tunes not following in the right order, and when it was slow they were create this little back ground _ticks_ in the distance ringing only every once in a while.

She couldn't remember what happened to the bells afterwards, perhaps father put them down after he forced pills down her throat and Allison's rumour down her ear, but she often felt especially during quiet times like these that she heard them somewhere behind her in the background. It must have been just a memory which was trying to find her way out on the surface from her sub-consciousness, but even now she could hear the bells loud and clearly storming in wild movements to the speed of the strong wind.

Vanya took a deep breath and focused on her breathing again. The wind started to settle down with every new breath she took. She could feel that the power was buzzing underneath her skin, always there as a reminder that she was no longer ordinary or never was for that matter.

When she finally opened her eyes she was pleased to find the forest around her in composed peace just as she felt with herself.

She couldn't help a small proud smile tug her lips. It had been months since her last incident and she felt the bubbling joy inside her impossible to keep at bay. Unlike her powers, the joy wouldn't hurt anyone so she allowed herself to smile at her success before she stood up from her blanket and put on her shoes. It was still morning and she wondered if Five would be up already although based on his odd sleeping habits it was always a flip of a coin.

The walk back to the cabin was short as Vanya never liked meditating too far from it. It was the only activity she allowed herself to do without Five outside of the cabin. Anything from going for supplies or a walk was always with the knowledge that he was close by if she needed him to help her find her balance.

She momentarily stopped and went a bit to look at the lake. It was too big for her to see, but she assumed she spotted him swimming for a moment. She closed her eyes and tried to carefully listen catching the sound of his breathing and water splashing around him with each new movement as he swam.

Opening her eyes she smiled a bit.

_Looks like he woke up early today_

It started about a month ago that she focused on sounds which were far away and eliminated them from the others to only hear them. It was an improvement which Five took great pleasure into testing out walking and jumping through miles away to see just how far would she be able to hear him.

Her father was right. Her powers were almost limitless. Even after four years it still felt like she was learning new and new possibilities she possessed. It was bittersweet to know that maybe if her father tried a bit harder with her when started to show them, she could have a completely different life. It still stung a bit even with all the meditation, clear mind a positive thinking she put into training herself to be in control, she still couldn't help doubts and regrets to crawl into her mind like this.

The wind once again started to speed up, but she easily settled it down as if she could direct its sound with her hand just tune it down.

* * *

Once she was back in the cabin, she started to slowly prepare breakfast since it was clear he went right into the water. It was funny in a way since Vanya could clearly remember how much nanny Susanna had trouble with getting Five to bath as they were little. Who knew he would be so much into swimming. When they first came he eyed the water with distrust.

She heard the front door open, and he walked inside.

'Good morning,' she said without turning around, she knew it was only Five. They were the only ones around for miles.

'Good morning,' he said and stepped behind her startling her momentarily as he went to grab the juice which was in next of her on the counter.

'Hey,' she made an unpleased noise as the wet drops from the lake fell somewhere under her shirt through the collar startling her a bit.

'Sorry,' he said, but there was little meaning to it as he pressed himself fully against her and nuzzled the back of her head literally drying himself in her clothes and hair.

'FIVE!'

She shoved him off of her pointing a finger at him like a demanding mom, but with a smile on her face she doubted she looked intimidating at all.

Five rolled his eyes at her in good nature and took the juice before he took a glass of it.

'We're almost out.'

'We're also almost out of eggs, butter, milk, and pretty much everything else,' said Vanya as she turned off the eggs and bacon and put it on the plates before they started to eat. She would have scolded Five that he was making the kitchen chair wet, but she also didn't really feel like it.

She took a moment to look over at him. In the last four years he turned into a very handsome young man. Despite the fact that he was already almost sixty-two he was cursed to live in his now teenage body aging all over again. Vanya couldn't help, but envy the boy a bit. Unlike herself who was slowly starting to see new wrinkles and occasional grey hair which weren't there before, she wished she could be young like him, have a second chance at firsts like him.

'What?' asked Five not looking up from the window. He had a very handsome profile in Vanya's opinion. She knew Five was always a very cute looking boy, so it would made sense that he would stay that way or even grown more handsome as his face lost all the baby fat and he got leaner and shaper around the edges.

Vanya smiled a bit. Lately she always smiled as everything made her feel good and content. It was like she was inside a never ending dream. At first it felt impossible really to imagine she could be this in control and in ease about her powers, her feeling or herself, but now she was starting to forget the terribleness of her old life. It was almost as if it was all a bad dream not worth dwelling at.

'Nothing,' she said lightly, 'Will we go to the town today?'

'I guess. We need to desperately update on our reading,' he said shooting a glare at their little library which was mostly three long shelves and several piles of books lying all around the living room area. All read almost twice by this point.

She hummed in agreement as Five stood up and went to take his coffee mug which she left him on the counter to cool down a bit. The first time she made him coffee on the second day they arrive, he looked at her like she was a miracle or something before he closed his eyes and muttered something along the lines that he would keep her forever if she made coffee like this. She carefully memorized it and stored it into her mind as one of the little things which made life better.

'How was today?' he asked casually and her smile fell a bit. She knew it was coming since it was their every day routine that he asked, so she shrugged her shoulder shaking the small feeling of disappointment that he asked again away, 'Good. I meditated and I feel in control.'

'No negative or violent thoughts?' he asked after a moment probably wondering if he should trust her or not.

'Some things, but nothing violent. Not even about that mean squirrel, I guess, it found a new victim to torment,' she joked lightly about the animal which had threw nuts at her during her last's week meditation and even though Five looked amused and not believing her one bit she would have sworn that little bastard was doing it on purpose. The squirrel, not Five. It seemed false to call Five little as he was now taller than her. It was _so_ annoying. She blamed the pills for her lack of height as she blamed them for everything else.

She heard him chuckle, 'Glad to hear that. Can I shower first though?'

Vanya hummed in agreement and looked out of the window as well. The summer was ending it would be fall soon as she watched the leaves and grass tremble in the light breeze she remembered the first time they finally arrived here.

* * *

**Four years ago**

She couldn't focus. It felt like everything was too loud as Five drove the car through the city.

'I-I-I don't think I can do this,' she stuttered her eyes painfully closed as she tried to block all of the sounds around her knowing she was probably causing the hellish rain outside.

'You'll be fine,' said Five but she could hear the worry in his voice as it must have been hard trying to see in such a terrible weather.

'F-five,' she breathed out and looked over at him, 'I...I can't I need it.'

'No!' said Five firmly his hands clinching the steering wheel harder, 'We talked about this. You said you didn't want to take another pill.'

'I don't want you to crash the car either!' she half whispered just as they heard a glass in the backseat crack.

Five hit the brakes sending them a bit to the front before he looked at it, and sure enough it was cracked.

'I know what I said, but I don't want to get us hurt. Please, Five,' she pleased and watched the conflict behind his eyes. She begged him not to force her take the pills and he told her he would do whatever she wanted, but now she wanted to take them to protect them knowing she wasn't in control.

Five started the car again and drove for about five minutes before he stopped the car, 'Stay here.'

He was gone in a second and Vanya shook her head thinking that this was a terrible idea. How on earth did he want to survive this with her? How could she possibly learn to control her powers now when she was such a mess?

She felt tears rolling down her face feeling in her heart that this would not end well. She looked outside at the rain. Maybe this was a mistake. Five said he would go with her, help her, teach her until she was ready, but maybe this was all a mistake and they were only going to make it worse, her doing something worse than she already did and losing the last person she had left in her family.

'Here,' she heard by her side and flinched realizing Five came back without her noticing.

'What are those?' she eyes the pills in a bottle.

'Sleeping pills,' he told her and she blinked, 'What?'

'You won't get numb, you will just sleep. Something tells me you haven't had a good night sleep since Allison,' he said referring to the incident when she cut their sister's throat.

Vanya looked at the pills and then back at him before she nodded, 'Alright.'

She trusted Five enough to save and help her. She knew she could allow herself to fall asleep, and he would make sure she was alright. It was the only thing she trusted anyway, right now.

She took two pills and pushed her head against the glass window. She still heard noises, and it was raining cat and dogs, but they were becoming a bit more tuned down.

'Five, I'm still scared,' she whispered as she felt herself dozing off finally after what felt like days of battle with exhaustion and stress and all the terrible things which happened to her.

* * *

**Now**

'Do you want to go outside later?' She heard him ask breaking her thoughts from their road down the memory lane.

He was looking at her while brushing his teeth with only a towel on, 'Get tan?'

Vanya chuckled knowing he was mocking her and looked away feeling a bit uneasy about him being shirtless now that he was getting older. It felt weird to see him like this from time to time. But it probably came with the fact that powers or not she was still and awkward and shy person.

'Please, I only get sunburn. You're the only one with tan around here.'

'Who knows you might get a few more freckles out of it too,' he tossed at her and she bit the inside of her mouth, 'Plus vitamin D makes people happy.'

'And sleepy,' she said back before she turned to look at him again keeping her gaze on his face, 'Okay, if we have time after shopping, why not?'

He shot her one of his brilliant smirks and nodded before he returned to the bathroom.

She shook her head a bit and looked out of the window trying to change the course of her thoughts again.

* * *

The old pickup truck Five drove them into the town was starting to let out strange noises. She noticed Five was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel timing them. He might bring the car to the mechanist to check it out which was something he wasn't looking forward to base on his expression, which made Vanya want to laugh at him, but she didn't, pushing the smile away and looking out of the window instead.

The town was one of those small quiet ones where most of the people knew each other or about each other. It was almost an hour drive from their cabin, but both preferred it that way.

Vanya and Five only drove down here if they were short on supplies which usually meant once a month.

Vanya spotted the girl at the counter of the small grocery shop and chuckled, 'Looks like you're fangirl is working today.'

The girl she was referring to was a tall skinny one with purple in her hair.

Five groaned, 'Maybe we could wait a day.'

'It's an hour drive and we're already here,' she said and shot him a bright smile knowing it annoyed him even more. He shot her a look before he got out of the car and she quickly followed.

Vanya found it almost evil how amusing it was to watch the girl fix her top revealing as much cleavage as possible once they stepped inside and how Five brutally ignored the girl even more because of it. Once she looked pass the fact that it made her want to laugh, Vanya felt a bit sorry for the girl knowing what it was like when she herself tried to get attention, but constantly ended up forgotten or ignored even if she never tried such _methods_ as this girl and she craved belonging and connection more than desire and whatever the hell this girl thought Five could give her.

Five pushed the shopping cart shooting her a look telling her to zip it and do not dare to speak of the girl.

She looked away trying to act as if she was interested in the new flavour of cereal which earned her a heavy sigh and Five reaching over her grabbing and passive aggressively throwing it into the cart which caused the box to open and some of the content to spill on the floor under the cart.

Vanya felt her face going hot and bit down at her lip before she looked over at Five, 'Should I call her over to clean-'

'Don't. You. Dare,' he said slowly before he took the box placed it back and took another unopened one. She had half the mind to tease him about how immoral it was to leave an open one like that, but decided not to this time knowing she already pushed his buttons enough. They spread through the grocery store, Vanya thought about what it meant to live with Five. The main goal in their little roommate arrangements they found themselves in was the help her tame her powers so she wouldn't cause global destruction, but what didn't even cross her mind was that she would actually be living with another person. Something she hasn't done in years since she left the academy.

It was ridiculous how she was so worried about controlling her powers that she came to a shocking realization that she was as living with someone and what that brought into her life.

Five was no better at getting used to another person in close premises to his inside their cabin. It was clear from the tenseness of his shoulders to the ridiculous yet horrifying habits of his which made her realize how terrible life he had lived the first time around.

He was ridiculous about food always hiding some in his room or in other parts of the cabin, and not just any food but food with long date of expiration. She once found a can of beans inside the small cabin under the sink.

He refused to talk about to the point of having an argument, but his odd sleeping habits were directly linked to nightmares which would come and haunt him from time to time.

There were also the passive aggressive explosions of pure rage whenever they came to an argument. He might have looked like he was a composed and cold-hearted jerk, but since his time spent in the wasteland with only Dolores as a companion it was obvious he grew very feral in many aspects and wasn't use to handling people. Not that she was any better but as she liked to just stay clear or try not to come off as rude or awkward getting embarrassed each time she did, Five show hostility to the point it looked like he wanted to punch them.

She liked to think it had gotten better now than it did at first. Both of them healing each other in a way, but there were still times she had to pause at his behavior.

As Vanya walked around the large freezer she looked over at him. Her mind drifted to early days of them living together.

* * *

**Four years ago**

It must have been about a week or so after they came here. She was unsure about everything, feeling that any little sound any little change of behavior would make her tick. It was like the air around her was in gunpowder and all it took was the smallest of the sparks to light it up and blow everything around them to kingdom come.

She woke up confused and startled as she heard noises behind her door.

She half expected that their siblings had found them, or that Luther had found them, or that the Commission had found them imagining the worst case scenarios while feeling the energy around her demand to be let out and fight.

She rushed out of the bed.

There was food all over the kitchen area. Half eaten, half torn open, and half ruined. Her half asleep mind now found a new solution. An wild forest animal must have came to feast on their food.

She heard noises coming from the bathroom, and she slowly walked over there wondering if she should have gone to wake up Five. The door was opened and even if it was dark inside, she clearly could see Five kneeling in front of the toilet.

She kneeled next to him hesitated but with the need to know what was wrong. Despite everything she wasn't comfortable with sudden touches since she was lacking them all her life and the only recent person she allowed to touch her turned out to be a killer and monster who wanted to manipulate her. Anyway, she knew what it was like not to be comfortable with touches. Even more when you were a fifty-eight year old stuck in a child's body who was quite strict about them even when they were kids.

Her hand shook as she lifted it and put it against his shoulder applying as little pressure as possible while still making sure he knew she was there for him, for comfort, not for judgment or pity.

Once he was done throwing up, he brushed his mouth into his sleeve carelessly before he looked over at her. Even in the dark of the night she could still see his eyes looking at her even if it was hard to read what they were silently saying.

He kept looking at her probably debating what to do now and she could only hope it wasn't making it even more awkward or uncomfortable for him. In the end they remained like that with her hand on his shoulder through the rest of the night. At some point he let go of the toiled and pressed himself against the bathtub next to it, his eyes drifting into the empty space probably reliving the moments in the future which she created. The wasteland she doomed him to live for decades.

She took her hand away worried it wasn't any help at all before she felt him jerk and took her wrist. The move was so quick is startled her as well. The physical contact surprising her and clearly him as well as he eased his grip a bit, _'Stay.'_

The desperation and plea in his voice was almost possible to touch.

She wasn't planning to leave him either way, but she pushed herself against the floor to the bathtub next to him, their shoulders pressed together. He didn't let go of her wrist though. It felt like hours before he spoke and she realized she even fell a bit asleep to the rhythmical sound of his breathing.

'Hm?'

'I woke up,' his voice was so small, not confident at all, almost like he wasn't Five anymore, 'and I thought…I would starve again. I don't know why, but I felt that I needed to eat because I would…starve again.'

Vanya's heart broke for him in that moment. How? How could he have suffered through all those horrors caused by her? How could he come back and still look at her the same even if he knew she was the devil who created his personal hell where he rotted for decades? How could he not hate her?

She pushed down a sob telling herself this was not about her. She couldn't be selfishly taking up all the attention with her problems all the time. He was already pushing himself and his problems and PTSDs away for her insecurities and problems, to help her learn, and help all of them to survive.

She didn't think she trusted her words, but she took his hand into hers and pressed it against her chest so he could feel her beating heart under his palm, 'We're here. Both of us, and there is no apocalypse and no starvation or lack of food, or cold or too hot weather, just..everything is fine, alright? Next time you feel like you have to eat or you won't have a chance just come find me. I will be in the bed sleeping and I will be alive and not damaging the universe.'

She told him hoping he understood what she meant. It felt like ages had passed before she sensed him nodded. She let go of his hand, and he pulled it away, but he kept close to her, possibly even closer than before and after a moment she heard his finger started to tap against his knee.

Vanya was close to dozing off when she realized that the tapping was in perfect synch to her heartbeat drumming in the dark.

* * *

**Now**

She watched as the girl smiled at Five who suddenly found the counter in front of him the most interested thing in the world as he wouldn't look up at the girl, before he started to pack the bags with the ones which were already checked in.

Once the girl was done and so was he, Five simply walked away without a second glance the girl's way.

Vanya shot the girl an apologizing look as she handed her the cash.

'Your son doesn't seem to like me very much,' mumbled the girl, 'You should teach him so manners.'

Just like that Vanya felt the needed to apologize to her fade a bit, 'Brother. He's very strict about who likes and who not. He doesn't see point in spending his time with people he doesn't.'

The girl shot her a look, but Vanya just took the remaining back and walked to the truck putting the bag along with the rest between her and Five on the seat.

'What did she say?' he asked and Vanya looked over him.

He was frowning and Vanya didn't understand why he did not like the girl so much.

'Nothing worth repeating actually,' she shrugged her shoulder noting that some of Five's anger was melting away before he looked over at her and smirked.

He started the car and drove to the town's library to exchange the old books for new ones.

On the way back home she asked, 'Does it bother you that she's crushing on you? You know that's not something people can control.'

It must have been her imagination, but she watched his hands jerk a bit. It was a moment before he answered, 'It bothers me that she's throwing mushy eyes at me when she could be my grand-kid.'

Vanya grimaced, 'Here we go again. You know a person is only as old as he feels like.'

'Then I'm a hundred and three,' he said and she rolled her eyes a bit before she looked out of the window. It was so hot outside and sunny. They really should stay out today.

'You think everyone is too young compare to you, Five,' she said closing her eyes and enjoying the wind.

'I think it's safe to say, I outlived many people when it comes to experience, so yes, Vanya, everyone does feel too young compare to me.'

'Even me?' she asked before took a piece of her hair. She should have put it into a bun it was left lying all sticky on her back and shoulders now.

'You included,' he said, and she smiled a bit, 'Sounds good since I found a new grey hair on my head.'

'That's nothing. I had grey hair when I was twenty,' he said and took in his profile making sure he was in a good place while talking about his life in the apocalypse. She always made sure he was in a good place before discussing it further, if she saw that he was getting into the red areas she quickly changed the topic or stayed quiet and let him compose himself.

'Well, you lived in a very bad environment with a lot of reasons to get grey hair over. Maybe this time you will keep your colour until you're my age,' she said and let go of the piece of hair letting it fall to the rest.

'You're thirty-three that's hardly _old_ , Vanya,' he said and smirked, 'And you don't look like it. Short people never look their age.'

She shot him a look, but didn't really get all that annoyed since she saw he was in a good mood now. It was enough.

* * *

After they made dinner together they pulled out their blanket outside. She got herself one of the new books they brought. She had a top over her swimsuit as usual, she never liked to show off too much skin.

'Do my back?' asked Five handing her to sun cream. She blinked but took it without protest. It was strange that he asked her that though. Even with four years had passed Vanya still felt like she needed permission if she wanted to physically touch him. Whether it was taking his hand or patting him on the shoulder, she only ever dared herself to do such things in crisis when he got consumed by the horrors of his past and needed an anchor to hold him from slipping into the madness of it all. Apart from those moments, however, Vanya never touched him without consent. This naturally led to her almost never touching him since Five grew up without touches which mean all touches felt strange to him. Even when he asked her to hand something to him, if their fingers lingered a bit longer she spotted his eyebrows knitted together with an odd expression on his face he wouldn't elaborate on if she asked what was wrong.

She secretly had a theory that perhaps Five did like the touches and wanted to be touched more but didn't know how or was too stubborn to ask. If that was the case then it was truly sad because Vanya didn't always know how to reach out for him caring her own scares about physical touches since Harold Jenkins. She never referred to him as Leonard anymore. Leonard was someone who was close to her, who made her feel good about herself for the first time in ages, but broke her heart. Jenkins was the monster who got her to hurt Allison and almost unleash all hell on the world because of his revenge. When she thought about Jenkins he was like the villain of her story just as much as she was her own.

'Are you alright?' asked Five suddenly and Vanya blinked realizing she took the bottle, but didn't even move just stayed still behind him holding it.

'Oh, sorry, just lost myself in thoughts for a moment,' she said before she poured the content on her hand. She was about to press it against his back when she got a better idea. She rarely was allowed to touch Five when they were both in a good mood like this.

She put her index finger into the cream and started to make little dots all over Five's back. At first it was like he didn't even notice until he asked, 'What are you doing back there?'

'Art,' she said as she could hear that he wasn't upset at all.

She finished the cream dots using most of the cream and realizing just now how tall Five got over the years. His body was growing up nicely, she really didn't blame the casher girl to be interested in him. She imagined many teenage girls would.

She put the rest of the cream on her other palm as well before she started to methodically process to spread the cream all over his shoulders and back in massaging movements.

She felt how he was a bit tenser now especially on the shoulders where she felt something similar to a knot. She very carefully started to actually try to break the knot for a couple of minutes before she finally felt the muscle go soft and smiled victoriously before she froze by the semi-moan which left Five's mouth.

She stopped her movements surprised by the sound momentarily before she continued to spread the cream not wanting to make it more awkward than the moan already did. Five didn't say anything and from his back it was hard to tell what he was thinking. Hell, even from face to face was sometimes hard to tell what Five was thinking.

'All done,' she called after a while and moved to her side of the blanket refusing to look at him.

'I'll go for a swim,' he said and stood up which puzzled her. She still didn't see his face.

'But I just put sunblock on you,' she muttered trying to catch the expression on his face, but he already started to walk toward the lake.

She opened her book trying to lose herself in the plot, and not wonder more about the strange situation. It was...strange to say the least. In many ways Vanya learned that living with Five now was nothing like living with Five when they were younger. Apart from the whole learning about powers, to PTSD from living in a wasteland and killing people, to her guilt trips about hurting Allison there was also the whole _living together_. There was a very certain intimacy about it all to live with just one person sharing everything with them. It never occurred to her before because well Vanya never lived with anyone, not a boyfriend or a roommate before. All her disastrous relationships never got to the point of _actually_ living together. The closes she got was the two days in a different cabin she would rather erase from her mind completely.

She felt the wind growing again and the powers inside her coming to life again. She concentrated a bit on her breathing before it all calmed down.

The point was that Five and her had to live in a very small space with each other, and there was bound to be some weirdness such as opened door while changing or running out of the shower to get the clothes she forgot in her room. All the things which would make the situations weird even for normal sibling/roommates.

She heard Five coming out of the water before she saw his shadow blocking the sun. Looking up she could see he was in a better mood, 'How's the water?'

'Come on, try it yourself,' he told her and nodded over to the direction of the lake.

Vanya sighed, 'Not all of us turned into amphibians here, Five.'

'Don't even bother pretending you can't swim like you tried last time,' he told her with his not in the mood for bullshit voice and shot her a look.

She marked the page in her book before she got up putting the hat and sunglasses she had on to the side.

She felt a momentary shyness as she pulled down her top revealing her one piece suit, but she pushed it down and neatly put it on the blanket. She probably never ran faster as she did to the lake just to create some distance between them before she stopped. She remembered how the water always felt so _cold_ on the first try.

'Oh no, I'm not doing _this_ with you again,' said Five as he finally reached her and crossed his arms over his chest.

She grinned a bit knowing he meant the last time it took her about twenty minutes before she finally went into the water. It also served as a reminded that this wasn't new to her. She swam with him before. All of this happened before, so why was she today so jittery? It was just her and Five like every day for the last four years or so.

Before she could convince herself she suddenly found Five's right arm around her back while the left one moved under the back of her knees and lifted her up.

She screamed startled before she threw her arms around his neck afraid he would drop her otherwise.

'Not this time,' he said before he jumped.

_That. Fucking. Asshole. Jumped._

They landed in the lake in an instant, so of course Vanya didn't have time to break free or even close her eyes before they were under and then back up with Five still holding her while keeping them up.

She finally got a hold of the situation and pushed at him, 'You're a jerk!'

He grinned at her and even though she was _furious_ she couldn't help, but feel a tiny bit pleased from how happy he looked in that moment.

'And you're a scarycat. There now you're in the big bad lake and nothing happened,' he said and started to swim a bit away from her.

Vanya was about to swear some more before she smirked thinking a better idea, 'You're gonna be so _sorry_ about that.'

She swam a bit closer to him already focusing her mind on the sounds around her.

Just as Five turned around he got hit by a monstrous wave sending him under water.

She chuckled pushing away her wet hair and trying to swim a bit to the stop where he disappeared under water.

_A while ago..._

Vanya blinked and looked around, 'Five?'

She frowned. This was not funny and so like him to try and catch her like this.

She took a deep breath and dived in. Despite the fact that it was a clean lake, it was still hard to see properly and even if Vanya could swim she wasn't as good as Five in it.

She got back up when she felt she couldn't hold her breath any longer before she brushed her hair.

'Five! Knock it off!' she called before she realized if he was hiding under water he wouldn't hear her.

She went under again now feeling a bit more panicked then before, but luckily even Five decided the game was too silly to be played and grabbed her by the waist quickly swimming with the both of them to the surface.

She coughed a bit as they got up, 'No funny.'

'Sorry,' he mumbled but something in his voice made her pause.

'Did it really knock you off? The wave?' she asked in horror and immediate guilt.

Five shook his head, 'No. I was just playing around.'

She put her hand on his shoulder not even realizing it, 'Look at me. Did I...oh, Five, I'm so sorry I didn't mean it.'

'It wasn't your fault-'

'But it was!' she snapped a bit feeling the wind around now speeding up, 'I should go meditate.'

He didn't let her go, 'You already went today.'

'Well, obviously I need to go some more,' she said bitterly trying to leave, but Five pulled her closer causing her to knock herself against his chest. So much for her last incident being several months ago.

He kept his hands on her waist his head a bit lower. She could almost feel his nose pressing against the top of her head.

'Look at me.'

She didn't. Her eyes remained on the small beauty mark he had on his shoulder.

'Vanya. My eyes are up here,' he said sounding a bit annoyed, and she forced her eyes up.

'We were goofing around. Nothing happened,' he said, and she knew he was trying to ease the situation, and she was eternally grateful for it, but still...

'It could have. I could have lost control like always,' she told him firmly, but his gaze didn't budge. It never did.

'You would get it back, like always,' he said just as firmly.

She sighed for a moment pressing her head against his chest. They were wet from the water which was dripping down their bodies, and it was hot. It wasn't completely unpleasant.

She suddenly felt one of Five's hand move from her waist to her lower back probably to secure her a bit.

It wasn't unpleasant at all.

She moved her hands to his shoulders and looked up with a small grateful smile. Grateful that he was still here with her trying to help her. Always looking out for her and keeping her safe from the world and herself.

The intensity in his green eyes caught her of guard for a second, and she couldn't move. His gaze was entirely on her, and it caused her stomach to flip in an odd way.

For a second, she didn't understand why, before she got a horrible realization about when was the last time it did something like that and what it meant.

She needed to leave. She needed to make some distance between them as fast as possible.

'Fi-,' just as she was about say his name, just as she pressed her hands against his chest ready to push him away, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers freezing time and space and everything else in her mind.


	2. Him

**Now**

In all fairness Five wasn't really sure what he was doing. He could blame it on many things. He could start with the fact that he time travelled in the first place living alone in a wasteland for over four decades. He could then continue to blame it on the fact that his sole companion there was a mannequin and as much as he loved and cherish her she wasn't human. He could blame it on the fact that he got hired by an organization who stripped him of every last bit of humanity he had possibly left. He could blame it on the fact that was going through puberty and hormones all over again with his own body embarrassing his 58 and now 62 year old mind. If he really wanted to blame something he could go back to the absolute beginning and blame it all on the fact that she was his first crush. The first girl who ever made his heartbeat skyrocket and stomach to do strange flips with her soft brown eyes on his or her tiny smiles which she only ever offered him to witness? He could blame it on the fact that she was in his arms now looking so worried and upset, and he wanted nothing more than to smooth those worries away. He might as well blame it on the fact that they were both wet and she was only in the swimming suit with her chest against his making him very aware that she was completely nude under it.

Oh, and let's not forget, he absolutely blame all of it on himself, but why the fuck was he just doing that? He had zero clue.

Still here he was holding her close pushing his hands into her soaked hair while his lips clumsily and enthusiastically moved against her tasting her and giving into every urge he had since he first allowed his mind to accept the fact that he wanted her like this. Not like a friend, or a companion, but as a woman.

The kiss wasn't sweet, but then again he always found the stupid romance books he sometimes notice Vanya and Allison reading when they were younger to be false about that. How could all of which he felt for her all the need, lust, longing and passion be expressed through a sweet kiss?

No, it couldn't. It had to be rough almost bruising and demanding with how he was pulling her as close as possible while pushing himself against her lips making sure there was no room left between them, no room for doubts about what he wanted, no room for air, no room for anything but them pressed like this together.

When he felt her kiss him back, he felt his head spun with joy almost breaking the kiss with the need to smile, but he pushed it down. The kiss felt too good to end so soon.  _Way to good_.

Unfortunately, all kisses must end as he broke this one to let them both breath while still holding her.

She was breathing hard.

He patiently waited for her to open her eyes to look at him. She looked stunned and shocked. He didn't blame her at all. He wasn't planning to kiss her today. He wanted to spent the day with her, have a good time, but when she looked so worried and upset and then she looked up at him and he caught the moment she felt  _something_  for him, that he was making her feel something he just acted.

Vanya watched him speechless for a moment before something else flashed behind her doe eyes which made his blood run cold. It was fear and doubt, he recognized them instantly.

She pushed at his chest and quickly swam back to the land.

He didn't run after her, he just let her go. He already did too much by kissing her, he owned her some time to cope now.

* * *

**Four years ago**

Five watched in horror as Vanya was desperately banging on the small window. He came back from dropping of Dolores early and found the secret door to downstairs open. He was confused and went to investigate immediately catching all his brothers standing around what appeared to be a large safe until he saw her.

'What the fuck?' he snapped before he teleported toward his brothers almost to the metallic door which was holding her inside the room when Luther literally grabbed him by the back of his jacket and lifted him like a little kid into the air.

'Get off me!' he wrestled out of his hold finally while shooting daggers at him.

'The hell is this? What are you doing to her?' he demanded losing every bit of calmness and self-reservation.

'Five, it was her,' said Luther looking at his brother with hard look, 'She slit Allison's throat.'

Five shook his head confused, 'What do you mean it was her? Have you gone crazy?'

'It's true. She...she has powers, Five. Pogo told me,' he said looking a bit remorseful as Five slowly looked over at crying and panicked Vanya who was still banging on the small window pointing at herself. He couldn't hear her, but it was obvious what she could have been saying.

Luther processed to explain what Pogo told him about the woman, but his eyes never left hers. Eventually she stopped jumping and screaming and just cried looking at him. She pressed her hand against the glass and shook her head at him. It was breaking his heart seeing her like this. As he partly listened to Luther's speech his mind was making connections about everything he knew, about the apocalypse, his family, their childhood.

_Because you're ordinary._

_Sorry I left without a goodbye._

'She has to stay contained. She could hurt us, or kill us. She already tried with Allison. God knows-'

'Where are her pills?' asked Five still looking at her. He understood it all now. Vanya caused the apocalypse. He must have gone crazy, but he felt like laughing. Of course. Of course, she caused the apocalypse because life was just fucked up, and it all made sense that out of all the people, the person he wanted to protect the most, his most trusted confidant growing up, his best friend and first crush would have been the one who would cause all of this. Of bloody course. The Commission must have been rolling on their asses laughing right now.

_How to make Number Five's life a living hell even more?_

_Let's make Vanya cause the apocalypse._

'What?' asked Klaus confused and Five looked at him, 'I asked where are her  _pills_.'

'The hell do you need her pills for?' asked Diego, and he rolled his eyes, 'Never mind.'

'Hey, you can't go in there,' said Luther already trying to get to him as he must have guessed what he was planning to do.

'Watch me,' was all Five gave him before he was on the other side of the metallic door. He was right Vanya wasn't screaming anymore. She just slowly turned around and started to cry again, 'F-five. I-I didn't...I didn't...'

He took a step closer and she immediately fell against him burring her face into his shoulder soaking the fabric of his uniform with her heavy tears and crying.

She was so fragile in that moment, so not in control. He understood it all now. He knew how to stop the apocalypse now. Once and for all.

He very carefully put his arms around her hoping she didn't feel how awkward he felt doing so. He couldn't remember the last time he ever hugged someone if ever.

'I know. I know you didn't mean to. It will be fine. I will fix it,' he whispered against her hair while looking at the disapproving look on Luther's face behind the glass.

'I'll help you. I promise, it will be all good now,' he said not sure if he believed it, but like hell he was letting her all alone in this cold cage.

* * *

**Now**

Five looked at his bedroom door. It had been hours but he finally heard her come out of her room and go to the kitchen.

He sighed and brushed his eyes feeling relieved.

The moment she pushed him away and got out of the water, she rushed to put on her clothes and locked herself in her room.

He decided to give her space, not say anything or force anything on her just give her all the time she needed to process it all, but with the hours passing by he grew worried she would spiral. She hadn't come out, not to take a shower, not to use the bathroom, not to eat, and he was worried as hell.

He wanted nothing more than to go talk to her, but instead he forced himself to look at the book in his hands. He couldn't concentrate, and it took everything inside him not to throw it across the room storm out and demand that they talk.

Naturally, he didn't, but he was very close and he wanted to.

He knew she needed time and space. He owned her that much.

After another failed minute he closed the book and sat it down on the nightstand before he threw himself against his bed.

He was such an idiot. Could he be any more stupid? Could he?

He brushed his face in frustration. This was in no way how he wanted things to go. In fact until his lips were against hers he wasn't sure he wanted things to go anywhere. He just...lost it.

He would be lying to himself if he couldn't admit that he had been thinking about it, about her for a while now. It came with going through puberty again, but it was so much more than that.

She was  _Vanya_. Just...his Vanya. They were all alone, inside a cabin for four years now, and they were close just as they used to be always talking and sharing everything. It felt like he got his best friend back and with that the feelings started to slowly resurface again.

He felt like pulling his hair out from the frustration. He didn't mean for it to happen. He knew developing feelings or re-developing feelings would be tricky. She was ready and neither was he, but fucking hell it felt good to be with her. When they were together alone like this even if he had to be on his toes while training her, it just felt so good to have her back. Then before he knew it he was hooked. It just happened so easy. He didn't even know.

Here he was minding his business while she finished her house of cards on the kitchen table one day about seven months ago, about one hundred and fifty-nine days ago (but who was counting?) while he was reading a book. It was cold outside, the last snow had just melted, but it was still cold and gloomy so they stayed in. He casually looked over at her little house noticing the way she bit her lower lip twisting it a bit with the way she was keeping it under her teeth. It made her lips look redder for some reason. He wanted to ask her if it didn't hurt her, but before he realized it he imagined what would she do if he took her by the waist brought her closer and bit that lower lip himself. The intense imagine startled him so much he knocked over the glass of water he had next to him causing Vanya to ruin her house.

It was the first time he realized his feelings weren't platonic anymore or just natural sexual fantasies of his young adult body. He wanted her, he  _really_  wanted Vanya.

It surprised him to say the least. Don't get him wrong, Vanya was one of the most amazing people he knew. He respected her probably more than he ever did anyone in his life actively trying to be  _nicer_  toward her than any other of his family member. He also developed a crush on her in his childhood because of how kind she was, and she listened to him. She wasn't annoying the way his other ego-busted siblings were. She was his confidant and best friend, so of course he developed a crush on her.

It still caught him off guard. Not that it was her as much as the fact that he managed to fall in love in with anyone to begin with. Even as he could feel how young and fresh his body was, he still felt  _old_ , too old at times. It annoyed him to no end when the cashier girl was making eyes at him and how Vanya was teasing him about it even before he realized what he felt for her. It was the simple fact that he thought the idea of some child to fancy him repulsive. He knew his body was young. He couldn't escape the  _painful_  reminders every time someone mistaken him for Vanya's son. It made his blood boil at least now he knew why.

Either way, the simple fact that he fell for anyone was bizarre and for several months he couldn't understand how it happened. Even with Vanya in control now and her powers at bay as much as possible, he thought of himself to be too broken to actually... _fall in love._

He loved Dolores. Sweet, caring and strong Dolores who was by his side through decades when it was just the two of them, but even with her it was different. Loving Dolores was sweet almost like a first love of a child. There was caring and adoration, and at times it was almost like it was just a dream. Something good in the world of madness and pain he lived in, something to keep him sane and going. He would forever be grateful for having her there, but with his time back in the  _real_  world, he feared that what he had with her could only work because it was just the two of them. The only souls left in wasteland.

When he realized it was Vanya who caused the apocalypse, and he took her away working on helping her learn to control her powers he was struggling to adapt back to the world where he wasn't starving or cold or alone, but he managed. Even if Vanya viewed him being young again as a second chance, he didn't. He wasn't young mentally. He couldn't picture himself or want to for that matter around people his physical age. In his mind even if his body didn't look it, he was old, a grandpa as Vanya joked a couple of times, and as such he didn't think he would ever fell in love, even more fell as hard as he had for Vanya. Where with Dolores everything was sweet and tender with Vanya it felt raw and alive. And he wanted all of it. With Dolores he could accept it to be all about just the fact of loving someone, but with Vanya, he craved for more, so much more.

It made him think the wildest things about what he would do with her, and what he wanted to do to her, and what he wanted her to would do to him and not all of those things were sexual or even included touches of any kind at all. He wanted to experience all of it with her, all there was about falling in love and loving someone and being with that someone. He wanted to know all of and live through all of it. She spoke about a second chance in life, so he wanted a second chance in love as well...with her.

He heard Vanya's bedroom door close again, and felt his stomach twist. She just needed time. She would come out and talk to him...

She had to, otherwise, he didn't know what he would do if he lost her...

* * *

**Four Years Ago**

It happened the next week as well. He woke up all sweaty feeling like he couldn't breath. Like the clothes were too...just too much for him. Everything was too much for him. He smelled fire and tasted ash and heard nothing, and he couldn't breath. Last time he had to eat. He had this urge that if he didn't he would starve later so he had to go and eat until he made himself sick. Tonight there was a different urge.

Before he knew what he was doing he stripped down to his boxers. He didn't feel so warm, so restricted. It helped a little bit, but it wasn't enough not at all actually.

He felt like he was doing to suffocate now as he got to his knees trying to remember how to breath.

_He needed to get out._

_Now._

_Just out!_

He jumped to Vanya's room remembering what she told him last time. She was asleep in her bed calmly breathing finally not stressed or scared as she usually was.

He got to her bed on all four like a dog making so much noise he was shocked later he didn't wake her up, but the moment he saw her calm face as his eyes adjusted to the dark of her room, he stopped.

She looked so peaceful. Finally the stress of the past few weeks, her powers, abandonment of their family, what she did to Allison and the fucker who manipulated her proved to be too much for her and let her rest in peace in a soft bed.

Before he knew it he realized his own breathing was back to normal. Knowing she was alright, safe, and here, knowing she didn't killed the world was enough to calm him down.

He sat down on the floor pushing his fingers into his hair.

_Fucking great._

A week here and he turned into what? An emotional mess of a man with PTSD or something?

When he was in the Commission he didn't have time to think or process all his feelings and memories from the wasteland. He had missions, tasks, assignment while he was trying to get home. Once he was home he had a few short lived episodes but they could be easily contained with some alcohol and the fact that he needed to stop the apocalypse. Now all he did day was try to train Vanya, which was proving to be extremely frustrating since he had no idea what he was doing or how to help her get a hold of such enormous and limitless power.

His hair was all sticky as he brushed it while keeping his eyes on her. Perhaps, he was wrong. So very wrong. His powers were different then hers, he never had his emotions suppressed the way she did. He was never betrayed the way she was by people she cared her for, her family with Allison and Luther in the lead, and the man she was dating.

His stomach turned and anger boiled inside him as he realized once again that while he was running around town the key to all of this was right where he left it when he once again left her behind for some psychopath to use her.

_I should have been there. I should have figured it out sooner. I should have protected you_.

He could make a list long as the road back home with all the things he  _should_  have done.

Five couldn't sleep alone after that, every time he woke up he was alone in the dark and everything was too damn quiet for him. In the wasteland there was nothing but silence.

As he soundlessly watched her for a moment, he made his choice and laid down on the floor next to her bed. Since it was the dead of the night he could hear her steady breathing calming his own nerves and lullabying him to sleep before he knew it.

He woke up earlier as he usually did a bit startled before he remembered last night. He checked to make sure Vanya was asleep before he jumped back to his room put on new clothes and went on with the day like nothing happened.

'Did you sleep well?' asked Vanya as she made him coffee. Since the first day that she made him  _finally_  a decent cup, he tasked her to do so every morning sometimes asking her for one several times a day.

He looked over at her, but she looked just as innocent as the question was. She didn't know anything.

'Good,' he admitted, 'real good.'

He looked at her waiting for her to call him out on what he did, but she just nodded her face a bit softer today less stressed than the day before.

'Me too. I think I finally got used to the new bed.'

He hummed in agreement watching her face. He thought a lot about how to proceed with her training and after last night decent sleep even if he was on the floor he had just the idea.

'Maybe we shouldn't focus on your powers so much at the moment,' he said as Vanya handed him the cup and he took it from her.

'How come?' she asked a bit confused.

'I was thinking that perhaps, we should focus more on your emotions and feelings and how to handle them like normal people do. Find balance in that before going to the whole powers thing,' he suggested, and Vanya chuckled, 'A Hargreeves and being good with emotions that would have been something.'

He smirked for a moment before he continued.

'It's worth the shot, and we have time to practise and perfect it. It's not like we have a set of rules to follow. It's all experimental anyway,' said Five.

Vanya looked like she thought about it for a second before she nodded, 'Alright. How do we start?'

'Talk to me?' suggested Five, 'When we were kids I always rambled for hours while you patiently sat by listening. Well, now it's my turn to listen. Just talk...'

She looked away with a small frown, 'I don't know if therapy would do me any good, and I don't know if I can...talk about any of it yet.'

'Then start with something simple. You don't have to mention anything of the recent events yet, maybe...maybe start with something good that happened. Anything really which made you feel good.'

'About my powers?' she asked looking a bit hopeful like she had something particular in mind.

He offered her and an enthusiastic nod, 'Sure. Was there something?'

She smiled a bit. It was the tiniest smile know to mankind, but it was there and it brightened up her sad eyes a little bit, 'I got first chair at work. I mean...Jenkins killed my main competition so I will never know if it was just me, but I got it from all the other people. It was after I stopped taking the pills, and it was like for the first time I actually felt the music more profoundly or something. The leader said it was stunning and good so...I guess when I focused on the music, my powers turned out pretty okay.'

He watched as she lightened up a bit revealing the girl she used to be a very long time ago. It was great that she spoke about something she loved. Her music was a comfortable subject for her which was good because it meant she could open up, something she probably hadn't done in a long time.

He enjoyed listening to her for a change. When he read her book over and over again he used to imagine her thirteen year old voice saying those words, until he got to meet her here. It felt good to hear her voice now and have a peak into her mind.

* * *

**Now**

The evening came, and he honestly didn't know what to do with himself. He felt trapped inside the room. He could go out on a walk if he wanted to since she was still locked up inside her own room, but he also couldn't. He couldn't move.

_What if it would always be like this now?_

He had hope she would accept him and his feelings but what if she wouldn't what if she didn't feel the same?

He sat up feeling cold sweat run down his back. What if he forced himself on her? She was a woman all alone with him here. She never tried to kiss him before so she might have just let him kiss her out of shock not because she actually wanted to.

He brushed the back of his neck feeling his heartbeat speed up.

No, that couldn't be right. He would never force himself on her. But he did kiss her, and she pushed him away and ran which meant she wasn't happy about it. He made her scare enough to ran.

He swallowed hard looking at his door. What if this was how it would always be from now on? What if she would stay in her room, and he in his. No more sharing, talking, or spending time together. All of that gone, because for a split second he couldn't control his fucking urges and attacked her like that.

Five felt the dreadful thoughts reminding him that he would be all alone again. Just him and the silence.

He felt hot all over. His clothes once again proved to be too uncomfortable. He took his shirt and pulled it off him throwing him to the ground. It was too hot.

He jumped to the bathroom and put on cold water before he stepped into the shower cursing as the water hit his body. It was like ice, but it wasn't enough. He still felt too hot.

His fist hit the shower wall as his mind screamed at the water to fucking cool him down, but nothing happened.

He couldn't breathe.

Before he knew it he felt someone's hand on his shoulder.

It was instinct really. No matter how many years he would spent as a civilian, he was still a highly trained operative and when he felt that small hand on his shoulders when he was in his most vulnerable state, he grabbed the wrist of the person and throw himself with that person to the ground realizing only in the last semi-second it was Vanya and rotating them so he felt on the ground and she on top of him.

If he wasn't so stressed out he would take pleasure in knowing he still got it.

His left hand stayed secured on her lower back as his right let go of her wrist took her head, 'H-hey, are you hurt?'

He felt very cell in his body frozen with anticipation waiting for her to tell him if she was alright.

Her eyes were wide open and panicked probably from how he attacked her now knocking the sense out of her and leaving her speechless apparently.

'Vanya?'

She blinked, 'No, I'm fine, you?'

She sat up, but put her hand against his chest, 'You were panting so loud and you screamed.'

He popped himself up a bit on his elbows looking at her. He didn't remember saying anything or screaming. He just needed to cool himself down.

Now he didn't feel so warm like before. Just nervous.

He looked away, 'I...I think I had a panic attack or something.'

She nodded and made slow circles into his bare chest, 'Are you alright now?'

He grabbed the hand on his chest and pressed it tightly against it, 'Now, I'm good.'

She opened her mouth to say something, but then her eyes looked revealed the doubts she must have been feeling, and she looked away.

'Five, about what...happened,' she closed her eyes. This was not good.

'I think we should just forget it and not...talk about it,' she forced her hand away from his and stood up offering him a hand to get up.

He didn't take it immediately getting on his feet, 'Why? Because you don't feel that way?'

He noted the shock that crossed her face, 'Feel what way?'

He frowned not following why did she looked so surprised before he realized it. His face immediately softened as he stepped closer, 'Vanya, you can't possibly think that kiss was just...a kiss. Just you and me being giving into a heat of the moment.'

He saw the realization of what he was saying cross her face as her cheeks heated up, 'Five, no. That's not... _You can't._ '

He barked out a laugh, 'Can't? The hell  _I can't_. Can't what? Feel this way for you? Fall in lo-'

She jumped toward him and pressed her palm against his mouth stopping him from saying it out loud as if they weren't the only one who could hear it.

'Don't say that,' she said her eyes wide with fear.

He grabbed her wrist and pressed an open mouthed kiss against her palm.

She gasped and broke free again, 'Five...we can't.'

Vanya watched him for a moment and he could see all internal struggles all over her pale face.

'It wouldn't be right,' she said desperately, but like she was looking for an argument, but even to her it all felt like a weak one.

'We're adopted. Even if we're family, we're not blood related...we're not real siblings,' he told her, and she frowned, 'It's not just that. Five, we can't. It wouldn't be right. What would people say if they looked at us?'

'Looked at us?!' he snapped at her for what felt like the first time ever, 'Vanya, I don't care and stop patronizing me and as if I'm some child who doesn't know better. If anything I could be  _your_  father.'

'But it wouldn't look like that to anyone, and what about our family. That...that wouldn't be right,' she said and covered her face struggling with it all of it what he was saying, whatever was going on inside her mind.

It was the first time he noticed the rain outside. She was causing it with being so anxious about it all.

He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him.

'FIVE!'

'Tell me, don't you feel it too?' he asked and brought his left hand to her cheek, 'Don't you?'

He needed an answer. He needed to know or he would lose his mind if he didn't.

She kept on looking at him with such dread he felt almost bad for her, but he had to know.

He leaned closer to her,  _'Vanya.'_

Their foreheads pressed against one another,  _'Tell me.'_

She let out a shaky breath, 'I...I don't know.'

It wasn't a  _no_.

He let his right hand move from her waist to brush her back slowly, 'But did you like it? When we kissed? Did you enjoy it?'

She closed her eyes her voice on the edge of breaking, 'You're such a jerk sometimes.'

He smirked, letting his fingers grab her hair a bit roughly as he growled, 'Vanya.'

'Yes,' she opened her eyes, 'Is that what to hear? Of course I enjoyed it. You were the first person who kissed me in four years, and I care for you and you're so freaking handsome it's annoying-'

He went to kiss her, but she covered his mouth once more.

He groaned annoyed.

'But it doesn't mean it's okay, or that I feel it anyway.'

He stepped away from her feeling his frustration melting into anger, 'Why? Because you think that this is just some game for me? That I just fall in love with whoever?'

He cursed, 'Fuck. Do you think that it's just us being here? That you feel what you feel because I was the first guy to show interest in your in four years?' he asked honestly not believing she could think so until he saw the hurt look behind her eyes. He over did it. Just like always.

'You know it happened to me before. You know that's exactly what happened to me before,' she said, and he knew she meant Jenkins and it made him feel sick to his stomach and angry entirely all over again but at himself that he wasn't there for her. That he left her unprotected for that weasel to do his thing. He felt angry that in her mind she was comparing him with that piece of shit.

He was left there standing in silence watching as she offered him a tight smile before she went outside of the bathroom and to the front door, 'I'm going for a walk. Don't follow me, please.'

The door closed as noiseless as possible, but he would prefer if she smashed it shut. That way his ears would hurt at least instead of his heart, and at least he would feel better knowing she got back at him somehow.

Five looked over at the door before he sat down on the edge of the tub and took buried his face info his palms trying to calm down somehow.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: I don't know why but lately everything I write feels depressing or angsty as hell, and I'm not even in a bad mood or anything...
> 
> Anyway, thank you for the support and reading :) I am always happy to hear you like a story and what you think about it.


	3. Them

**Now**

It was heavy raining outside as Vanya closed the door and walked down from the front porch. It was a terrible storm which mimicked her emotions perfectly like always.

She knew she was going to catch a cold or pneumonia but she already found herself walking through the wet grass of the woods as far away from the cabin as possible before she found a relatively small trunk and sat on it her thoughts all over the place.

The rain wasn't slowing down one bit, but she didn't care as she tried go over all which happened with Five that day. She couldn't find it in her to make sense of it. It was just so...it was too much for her. Until today she didn't...she didn't consider even a possibility of her and Five and now he wanted her to what? Jump at each other and make out?

' _That I just fall in love whoever?'_

Those words shook her to the core. Fall in love. It sounded too beautiful and so unlike Five to say such a thing even if he probably only said it in the moment of the argument and because he was irritated. No matter how hard he tried to appear all emotionless and stoic she knew him well enough to know it was all a mask, a face to misguide the opponent when really he was all short-tempered and felt things deeply.

She touched her lips again remembering the intense and passionate kiss he gave her in the lake. All alone now, she allowed herself to close her eyes and remember it, re-live it.

She shuddered but not from the cold rain fallowing down on her, but from the heat she felt as she remembered how he desperately pulled her closer, his hands so strong, his hold firm while his lips bruised her, kill her and then brought her back to life with their kisses.

When she opened her eyes she was surprised for a second she wasn't back in that moment, in the lake with him. It still felt so intense. Was it because she was off her pills for so long? They surprised her emotions yes, so maybe they surprised the intensity of physical touches.

It got her to frown a bit confused even more. That couldn't be right. When she was intimate with Leonard she was already off her meds, and the kiss was good, but when Five kissed her...

Gosh, she must have been really horny for years now or something if she was melting like this from _one kiss._

Vanya pushed her wet hair away from her face. How could this be? How could he actually love her? How? She ended the world. The only reason he used to starve and suffer all alone in a wasteland was because of her. Because she did _that_ to him. Her! She almost killed him. She did, and she could never undo it. She could never be sorry enough about it.

The heat was gone just like that replaced with pure cold.

She sobbed a bit feeling that it wasn't just raindrops falling down her cheeks.

It was terrible. It was a terrible idea. She caused the apocalypse which haunted him even until this day, she could still cause it in the future if she lost control. She looked older than him. She looked like his mom! She felt horrified even imagining what the cashier girl or anyone else in the town would think if they saw them together. They would think they were some freaks. She wouldn't survive them looking at them like that. She would grow to hate herself because of it even more. They would ask what was someone like Five was doing with someone like her? She would be analyzed and judged with their disapproving stares. They couldn't allow that kind of attention. They were still hiding partly from their siblings, partly from the commission. They had to stay as hidden and average looking as possible.

She brushed her face a bit from the tears and rain.

She couldn't deny she felt something when they kissed. How could she? How? She felt everything. She felt herself coming to life with his lips pressed against her and lighting her up like a flame.

'Jesus,' she breathed out again thinking about it. She couldn't deny it at all. She did like the kiss, her whole body respond to it and to Five's touch and words. Gosh, when he spoke his voice almost rough and mean, but his words...it was overwhelming. All of it. All of him was overwhelming to her. She never...she never had someone kiss her like that, touch her like that, demand this from her with such intensity as Five did. Growing up, he was always like this. She knew. He always felt like he had a certain belonging and right in the house because of how often their father praised him and his intellect and powers. Even if he tried to seem like he didn't care, it did boost his ego, his confidence in himself and his abilities and decision. She wasn't raise the same way. She was raised to be grateful for anything she would get but never to expect it like it was a given. She was raised to never want something or demand it like it was her right to do so, to have it. But Five was. He was raised to believe that if he wanted something he should demand it and get it for himself. He obviously wanted her so he took the shot and kissed her and then demanded...

' _Do you think that it's just us being here? That you feel what you feel because I was the first guy to show interest in your in four years?'_

She didn't know. She really didn't know, but it was true that this happened. This exactly happened with Jenkins. He did that to her as well. Leonard made her feel like she was wanted, cared for, loved and then Jenkins took it all away leaving her broken even more than before. He filled her up with all these wonderful feeling for having someone, about being extraordinary and then torn her down by saying she was nothing without him. Not even the first chair she was so happy about. He took it all away leaving her feeling even worse than before, and she killed him. _Actually killed him._

She shook her head trying to push to image of him out of her mind but failing which made the rain worse. She felt a branch fall down near her causing her to jump a bit.

She needed to calm down again.

She closed her eyes and tried to focus, ease her emotions a bit. For the first time in years she wished she still had some pills with her just for tonight.

Her mind returned to Leonard. With time passing she come to terms that she did in fact fall in love with him because he was interested in her. He came to her and then returned over and over agaun talking and showing genuine care she didn't feel for years so of course she fell for him even if it was all a lie in the end, when he was doing all that it felt real.

It was the reason why she didn't know if this with Five wasn't the same. For four years it was just her and Five alone in a cabin. Five, who did nothing but take care for her since they came here, helping her find her balance, train her, talk to her. Five, who made her feel like he never left in the first place like they were always like this, just the two of them together. Five, who smiled at her so brightly or smirked daringly making it easy for her to lose her focus. Five, who could touch her so gently and with care not just physically but also emotionally letting her open up even about the things she thought she would never be able to.

It was a horrible thing to compare the two but Vanya just so many painful similarities it was painfully obvious.

She knew Five wasn't Leonard. She could tell the differences as well. Jesus Five could be such a jerk and so cold at times even to her if she deserved it. But he also could be very soft with her...

It wouldn't be right, she told herself. It would be horrible, and it would end up badly. They would fall apart, and she would lose the one person she had left.

Her heart ached at the thought of not being able to talk to Five these past few hours had been torture and it was just that a few hours.

She wished they would just forget it and go back to their normal way of life. She wished they could go back, and she would stop him in time before he would kiss her, but then again...

Would she really do that to him? He said...he said so many painfully wonderful things telling her he _loved_ her, that he _fell_ in love with _her_ out of all the people. She didn't get it. Even if it was seriously because he thought everyone was too young for him, she was at absolute lost why would he fall in love with her. She was...she wasn't pretty. Sure she had powers, but that had nothing to do with anything in this case. She was Vanya. His shy sister, Vanya, who liked to listen to his stories and theories feeling like she was special somehow because he told her little secrets he never told anyone. He was her best friend growing up, and she liked to think she was his even if that seemed like a bold assumption. He could fall for anyone literally, and he had for her. He could be anywhere right now doing anything with his almost limitless power, but he chose to stay with her.

Sometimes she wondered about that as well. She knew he was suffering from his own demons and that he couldn't seem to fit in the outside world either. Was that why he decided to stay so long or to make sure she wouldn't cause the apocalypse if she was alone? Did he stay because he loved her?

She closed her eyes again.

_That I just fall in love with whoever?_

Why was it so enchanting to hear him say it? Why did made her feel like screaming and yet feel stupidly happy about it?

Vanya stood up the rain suddenly stopping all together. She was wet and cold, and this was useless so she decided to go back home.

She opened the door and found him sitting on the couch now dressed again, but his hair still a bit wet from his shower earlier. He was waiting for her. Of course he was waiting for her.

'Jesus,' he said before he rushed to her pulling her in. She let him.

'You're shaking,' he said and touched her hands, 'Fuck, Vanya, you're cold as ice.'

He jumped to the bathroom and jumped back with towels, 'Come here. You're going to catch cold stupid.'

He immediately put one over her head and brushing it, 'You should get dressed into something dry quickly.'

She remained standing there for a while before she grabbed his hand and put it down while taking the towel and letting it fall to the ground by their feet.

'Van-'

'If you didn't love,' she started before she could stop herself, 'would you have left?'

Five narrowed his eyes looking confused for a second of what she meant, 'What?'

'If you didn't fall in love with me, would you have left? Go out, get a second chance, get a degree and find some cute girl-'

'No,' he said firmly, and she sighed, 'I mean it.'

'So do I,' he said again and with the way he was looking at her she believed him, 'But why? Because of the apocalypse? Because of my control-'

'Because there is no way I couldn't have not fall in love with you,' he said with his so green she wanted to get lost in them, 'How?'

'Because you're _you_ , Vanya,' he said like it should have explained it all but it didn't, not for her at least, 'Because you're you. Shit,' he looked away, 'I can't even think straight when it comes to you. I...I had the most stupid and childish crush on you growing up.'

Vanya felt like calling him out on a bluff, but then he continued, 'I always felt like there's no one around expect for you. I felt like you and me we were cut out of the world, and we didn't fit. Not because of the powers or anything really, just...I was always so bored or annoyed with everyone and you _just_...listened.'

He stepped closer to her the heat of his body rating from him toward her, 'No one listened to me. I rambled about time travelling or whatever other theory I was into before that, and everyone got annoyed or bored and left. They all had such huge egos and followed dad like he was a king no questions asked, and even if he said I was a genius and stroked my ego so I would be depending on his approval, but he never really listened to me. _You_ listened. You talked with me. You play for me, and smiled... _gosh_.'

She closed her eyes in bliss when he pressed his warm hand against her cheek again.

_Oh sweet torture_

'You didn't smile. You almost never smiled and when you did, not the shy way, but that open mouthed with teeth and everything you...you had me. You had me the first time you smiled at me like that. Dad could say I was the smartest person in the world, and I wouldn't care, he could offer me any compliment to boost my ego, and I wouldn't want it because it was nothing compare to the way I felt all proud and smug like I learned how to control time itself when you _smiled_ at me like that.'

She remembered. She remembered what he meant. They were in the library. He was working on his equations, and she was reading about music theory. She said something like she wished she would play so good one day someone would write about her in a book. She didn't know why she said it, she also wasn't even sure he was listening until he rose his head and said that he already knew she would. It was ridiculous but she felt so pleased with herself she couldn't contain the smile which was pulling at her lips. It was so rare someone said something nice about her. When she looked over at him, he looked stunned for a moment, and she felt that maybe she did something wrong. Maybe she had a weird smile or food between her teeth so she forced it down which caused him to chuckle and apologize that he just spaced out for a moment, and she should smile like that more.

He leaned closer to her again, this time she didn't push him away immediately or cover his mouth. He didn't kiss her yet just moved his mouth close enough to hers, 'I used to think we would be together forever. You and me. I would figure out how to time travel and we would get out of the house and disappear into a time dad wouldn't have found us. I used to think I would then start taking the others if they wanted to, but mostly I just wanted to take you away so he wouldn't bring you down, wouldn't hurt you anymore, wouldn't make you all numb and not yourself.'

Five stroke her cheek. His hand was so gentle and warm, 'Then I got stuck, and I realized it was too late, and that I would never be with you like that, that you were twenty-nine and grew up without me. I read your book, and I just...,' she felt his eyes shine a bit as if he was holding back tears.

He looked away for a moment taking a deep breath before he continued, 'Then I got back and we ended up here and all of those little things which made me fall in love with you back then just resurface only neither of is a child anymore so it can't be just a crush. '

His fingers moved to her jaw and then her neck making her shiver but not from cold as he mistook it.

He quickly moved away and took the towel, 'You need to warm up. Change into dry clothes, _please_. I will make you some tea.'

She took the towel and put it over her hair as she went to her room quickly stripping down her wet clothes to a pile by her bed. They hit the floor with a loud bang, but she didn't immediately went to get dressed again instead she remained standing in her room naked for a moment not cold at all just thinking about everything Five told her already feeling herself falling into her same old habits.

When Five came inside she heard him spill something, 'Shit.'

She turned around and watched him do the same almost going out of the room before she stopped him, 'Stay.'

He stopped in track the mug still in his hand, but she noticed it was now wet as well as the little part of the floor.

She swallowed a bit before she stepped closer to him, 'I'm cold.'

She could see how tense his shoulders looked as he spoke, his voice all hoarse, 'Yeah, that's usually what happens when you stand around all... _naked_ and wet from rain.'

Vanya swallowed everything which happened, and what he said piling up inside her.

'Can you put something on?' he asked suddenly almost shouting, ' _Please_?'

If it was possible she saw his ears were red now.

'I don't know what I feel,' she told him suddenly. It seemed easier when he wasn't looking it at her.

'I know I felt...something when we kissed and then when you say all these things, I just...I feel something, but it feels too good to be true. It feels like before with...Leonard.'

He spun around clearly forgetting she was still naked, 'Shit, sorry.'

He turned his back to her again and shook his head, 'I...I hate that you compare us. He...he was a piece of shit, and if even for a moment you think of me as him it makes me want to throw up because I would never hurt you or manipulate you the way he did and because...'

She blinked, 'Because?'

He sighed, 'Because you talk about him like you really did love him. And I guess it pisses me off.'

'You're jealous of a dead guy who tried to manipulate me into causing the apocalypse?' she asked and raised her eyebrows at that.

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke his voice clearly showing he was holding back his anger, 'I'm pissed that I didn't see it, that I wasn't around and that he got to you. I'm beyond furious that he betrayed you like that and now made you feel like this with me. Like even if you feel something for me you can't trust it because maybe it's just us being together here, but you know what? Screw that.'

He turned around but kept his eyes at her face. He was so adorably pink on the face, it made her want to giggle, but she pushed it down.

Five took a deep breath before he spoke, 'I don't...I don't think it's possible to fall for someone or crush on someone because he's nice to you. I think there has to be something there. I mean sure if someone makes you feel good and you enjoy his company you want to be with that person more, but it doesn't create attraction or love from just that. It also doesn't have to be just the fact that you're stuck with someone on a daily bases. We go out. We go to town, but I never looked at any of those women like that. The only other woman I ever loved was Dolores, and it had nothing to do with us being all alone in the apocalypse. Yes, I cared for her because she was the only one I had, but I loved her because of who she was,' his voice shook a bit as he spoke about her, 'she listened to me, made me sane, sometimes nagged or called out on my bullshit too. I guess I have a type.'

Vanya chuckled a bit out of nowhere and Five looked relieved, 'I know it's all too much on you, and I'm sorry I just put it all on your shoulders like that. I didn't plan to do at all. I just...I wasn't thinking, I just held you in my arms and act on what I felt.'

He swallowed a bit before what he said next, 'But if you look at it. Everything is just an excuse. What people might think? Or our family? Since when do we need their approval for anything? And about you just feeling whatever you felt because I'm here and I'm nice to you and all that...did you even stop to think about any of this before I kissed you?'

She shrugged her shoulder now feeling even more exposed than before, and she was naked the whole time, 'I never did.'

'So could it have happened naturally? Just me and you together falling for each other because it's me and you?'

Vanya felt like her heart stopped for a second and the whole room, cabin, forest maybe whole world went quiet before she answered, 'I think it happened just like that.'

Five took a hard intake at her words, she could hear his whole body vibrating with sudden a rush even if he didn't move. He stood still waiting, waiting for her to say if it was alright. He was waiting for her to confirm what she said or give him a sign he could move.

How was it that someone so confident as hell like him now he looked so... _nervous_? Because of her? It thrilled her. It made her more aroused than she ever felt before from the fact that _she_ did this to him. She, Vanya, so plain, and ordinary, and not pretty at all, and she made the cockiest person she knew a nervous wreck. She never felt more powerful in her life even with her powers. She never had _this_ effect on anyone before, and she also never felt so happy about someone being like this because of her.

_No, not someone. Five!_

It was all she needed to know in that moment. Maybe it was really just them being here, but did it matter. They still felt something. They still cared for each other. They were both fucked up so bad, and yet together they worked. When they were together here alone they could work and live out their lives without stress of the real world almost as if they were the only two people on earth.

They were separated by three steps, and she took them standing right in front of him with him looking now down at her since he got so tall. She could hear his heartbeat. She could hear it even before but now it was just louder and clearer, and it did something to her to know it was beating so wildly for her, because of her.

Vanya raised her hand and very carefully placed it against his heating heart with her brown eyes never leaving his.

A moment had passed between in silence and just standing there, gazing at each other before they finally moved.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Hey, thank you for the feeback, I am very happy you are so supportive and love the story. As well as my other stories. It feels good to know that :) I think next chapter will be the last one though.


	4. Us

They moved toward each other at the same time, Vanya's hand still over his heart not only hearing but feeling it. It was almost as if his heart was on the palm of her hand, and for all Five could tell with how wildly it was beating maybe it was. He would have gladly given it to her. He would have given her everything she asked for. _Fucking god_. He was a selfish prick, but if she asked he would give her all he had and was.

This kiss was different. It was unlike their first heated and desperate. The one that had a long time coming and Five waited for since he first realized he had a crush on her and wanted to know how would it taste to kiss her when her lips were pulled into that sunshine smile he only ever witnessed twice growing up. The first kiss where Five's body and mind went against him and thought _fuck it_ , they had to know how those red lips of her taste like, how they felt against his own were nothing compared to this one.

It was _slow._ It was like the moment their lips connected, one warm and wet pair of lips to another sliding against one another an eternity had gone by before they broke the kiss.

It was _tender_. Five never thought he could be tender. Not like this at least. Even if he could be soft with her, even delicate because he was worried she was too fragile at time, he never would have imagine that there was a part of him, a body part which could be this _tender_ given how his hands knew how to snap a neck or pull a trigger in a heartbeat. He never thought some of him could be like this.

It was _enchanting._ He knew their first kiss was thoughts consuming wiping out all there was but the feeling of his lips against hers, but this was something else completely. This kiss felt like everything inside him every cell, molecule, and atom was shattered by the kiss only to be rebuilt again carrying the feeling of absolute adoration and devotion toward Vanya.

It was _everything_.

They were both panting heavily once they broke the kiss even if it was just one kiss.

He opened his eyes and looked at her.

If right now she told him that it was a mistake, or that she changed her mind, or literally anything, he would have died. He would have fucking kill himself on the spot because if he couldn't have her after a kiss like that, after _that kiss_ , he might as well kill himself.

Her hand was still pressed against his chest, and she was still standing naked in front of him, but even with all the evidence, he had to know she felt it too, she wanted it too, she _loved_ him too.

Five took her head into his hands looking at her feeling such urgent desperation and love for her he thought it would rip him apart. He never felt like this before. Even before he loved her intensely but in silence, even after he told her, he was still willing to give her space and time- _but_ _god_ not after _that kiss._

His green eyes stayed fixed on hers as he was trying to decode her thoughts behind them.

_Tell me, please, Vanya, tell me something..._

_Anything..._

_Tell me you love me..._

He begged silently with his eyes like a sinner would for mercy and forgiveness in the church. He needed her to tell him. He needed her to say she loved him as well, even if it was probably the most selfish and terrible thing he ever wanted her from her. He still craved it. He would give her anything she wanted, but he wanted this in return. He needed and craved her to say it.

' _Vanya.'_

She blinked for the first time breaking their eye contact before she parted her lips wider saying something but no words coming out.

' _Vanya,'_ he whined again still holding her head between his hands waiting for the verdict about his death sentence. She would either accept it and say it back or kill him. There was no other outcome.

'I...,' she started but then she stopped all of the sudden and closed her eyes taking in a deep breath. Five might as well lose that breath she took because it felt his entire being stilled at that moment waiting for what would have happened.

Then she did the most amazing thing ever, a million times better than if she said anything really.

_She smiled._

She smiled with that sunshine smile which blinded Five for a moment thinking if they didn't time traveled back to the time they were thirteen and she jumped on top of his bed excited about getting a hard violin part just right. Even now whenever she smiled carefree and happy, it wasn't like _that_ _one smile_ from when they were young. The only other time he ever saw it was he told her he was sure he would be such a great violinist they would write books about her. That smile which made him first realize he was crushing on her.

It was _that smile_ that said everything Five needed to know at that moment because if she smiled like that because of their kiss, because of him, because of what she felt, no words were needed.

Five bowed down and pressed his face against the side of her head while his hands moved to her neck, 'Do you know what you do to me? Do you have any idea?'

'Then show me,' she whispered the smile still in her voice.

He leaned down his lips kissing hers as his hand ran over her bare back to her waists to the back of her thighs before he bent a bit picked her up and carried her to the bed where he sat her down before she pushed him away.

'You're wearing too many clothes,' she said the smile still playing on her lips as he went to kiss her chin while she talked.

He smirked, 'Well, you did have a head start. Cheater.'

She shoved him with such a force he ended up on his back looking at her with wide eyes. Not that he was complaining at all as she got on top of him.

Vanya pressed her hand against his chest like a lioness keeping her prey from running away, 'So you mind then?'

He swallowed hard. He didn't think it was possible for his pants to get tighter or for his thoughts to get dirtier but seeing Vanya fully naked like the goddess she was on top of him like sure proved him wrong.

His throat was insanely dry as he spoke, 'I got nothing.'

She giggled at that, and if he knew all it took for her to giggle like that was too get dumb, he would probably try to kill his brain with a hammer a long time ago. That was how much pathetically in love he was with her.

She leaned down and kissed him again their mouths and tongues moving against one another while he let his hands run through her body. She was so soft and warm it was becoming hard to breathe for Five.

They broke the kiss, and he sat up pulling the shirt over his head and tossing it to the side the two of them lying down on their sides kissing each other everywhere they could reach finding and exploring new delicate places with their open mouth kisses and fingers.

While she arched her back to let him access her throat, her hands worked on his pants and underwear pushing them down. He fixated on her neck trying to cover it in as many bruising kisses as possible feeling the vibrations of her sighs through the skin whenever his lips were pressed against it. He would enjoy doing that a lot to her.

Vanya finally lost her patience with his clothing and sat up pushing it all down before tossing it to the floor with the rest.

He didn't let her stay away for too long as he buried his hand into her still damp from the rain hair pulling her for another kiss. At times he felt like it was surreal like maybe it wasn't really happening. Maybe he was just having a dream or something. Maybe he would wake up to Vanya breathing lightly in the bed next to him before he would teleport to his own room so she wouldn't know he was in hers. Maybe he would wake up in the Commission, in his old body all of this just a wishful dream of might have been if he got home in time, maybe he would wake up in the apocalypse breathing dust and air and choking on it every second of his seemingly endless life there.

'Hey,' she broke the kiss pressing her chest against his her fingers stroking his face trying to grab his attention as if she already didn't have it all tugged in her pocket since the moment, he came to her room tired of everyone shutting him up about quantum physics. He was the one rambling then, and yet she was the one who had his undivided attention.

'Stay with me,' she said seeking something in his eyes with her brown ones.

He blinked, 'I'm here. I'm right here.'

She stroked his cheek, 'Don't get lost again, alright?'

He realized she could tell he was drifting for a moment, so he nodded and kissed her again rolling them so he was on top of her imprinting the taste of her lips and move of her tongue into his mind before he moved lower through that fabulous throat of hers to her chest exploring the softness and firmness of her chest and breasts with his hands and mouth.

Five loved to do research and experiment. Especially if that included figuring out how much Vanya liked his lips on her nipples based on how sharply she dug her fingers into the back of his scalp or back.

'I'm here,' he said after he was done harassing her nipple planting an almost tender kiss to make up for it, even if he could tell Vanya enjoyed it nevertheless.

She stuttered trying to find her voice, 'G-good.'

He chuckled feeling pretty smug about it, 'You sound almost like Diego now.'

She groaned, 'Rude for the both of us, and can we not talk about our siblings now?'

He bit her stomach causing her to yelp and pull roughly at his hair before he stopped by her pelvis feeling like he was the one shivering now. The first thing he noticed was the scent which made his head spun a bit. It was heavy and a bit musky. Definitely not how man smell, but he couldn't help but think he caught it before. When he came to her room late at night to find his peace of mind and sleep, he sometimes caught it. It was too soft to recognize then, but now he could tell clearly. It made him fantasize for a moment, that if he came a few moments sooner, he could have caught Vanya in the heated act.

Five started a trace of kisses all the way from her pelvis through her small curly hair as he reached her. When she jerked into his face he grabbed a hold of her thigh to keep her still knowing he would enjoy such reactions from her. He had to hold her tighter as he reached out his tongue and licked her all the way through her opening to her clip making her let out a started yelp.

He had the most obscene and ridiculous thought that he wished all those people who ever assumed he was her son would see them now like this. But then again, he never wanted anyone to see Vanya naked and like this. Only him. He was the only one who was allowed. With that thought, he grabbed her thighs and bent her knee pits before he put them over his shoulders causing her to let out a started sound as her ass and lower back rose from the bed.

'Wait-I…,' she said and he stopped his nose pressing against her lips.

'Yes?'

She let out a shattered sigh before she finally said, 'Alright, alright! I just…it's been a while and….alright!'

'I think I will make it more than alright,' he said much more casually than he would expect since he was hard enough that all the blood might as well disappeared from his brain to his dick.

'Don't be a smug bastard,' she said sounding a bit more composed.

'Too late for that, don't you think?' he replied, 'I was raised that way.'

She laughed a bit breathy, 'You were born that way.'

He launched himself on her after that.

He just couldn't have her sounding so in check like that. He wanted to wreck her. He wanted to taste her and make her feel so good he would erase the thought and pain of every one of her mediocre ex and the fucker how made her feel like she couldn't trust her feelings again. He dived into her licking, sucking and pushing his tongue everywhere he could taking in all the new noises which were escaping from Vanya's lips above him. He loved how she was trembling and arching her back even more as he ate her out enjoying the feeling of her body around him, her heels digging into his bare back as she was getting closer. He might as well get soaked in that wonderful heavy scent of hers.

She came apart with his tongue inside of her teasing the spot he was planning to fully find later.

'I hope I didn't lose you there,' he said as he got up looking at Vanya's relaxed face before she pulled him roughly toward her for a heated and brutal kiss.

When she broke the kiss, she took a moment to look at him just stroking his hair with one of her knee pits still bent over his shoulder while he stroke her side. He wanted to stay like that with her forever. He didn't care if he would starve. He just wanted to be with her like this tangled forever.

Five kissed her again silently telling her again of how much she meant to him through the kiss before he untangled himself from her. She let him sitting up in the process.

He pulled her toward him into his lap his hands on her back and waist. She bent her knees to fit right in while looking at him. She was higher sitting on over his legs like this. They were face to face now. She was a bit higher than him her lips at the same level as his forehead. Somehow it felt even more intimate than everything else they already did which shouldn't be possible. They stopped their feverish moves and touches for a moment just looking at each other. The world went completely still and sound again, and the only noise was coming from their chest as their hearts were beating the same.

Five wished to tell her something. He wanted to tell her again that he loved her, only her. He wanted to say she was stunning and brilliant. He wanted to tell her she was his everything and the mere thought of them not being together was enough to make him suicidal.

But instead of saying all those things, he leaned forward and kissed her almost identically to the way he did after she admitted she might have feelings for him today. He kissed her _slow_ , _tender_ , _enchanting_ and like she and this very moment of them being together like this in each other arms was _everything_.

Her hands went around his neck as she kissed him back just as the same. They didn't need any words.

They shifted a bit until he fitted in both letting out moans of finale satisfaction they had been craving all the time.

They moved in sync as both quickly losing themselves in the rhythm of one another and what they were creating together. He held her waist helping her move with a force that was just right for both of them.

He tried to kiss her everywhere he could reach as if he could taste the feeling of their growing passion from her skin. She was sweaty and so was he, and found the taste delicious enough that his teeth start to nibble at her shoulder.

He enjoyed everything about. How they moved together her hands pulling at his hair. He might grow it even longer just so she could continue to do. The way her moans and groans filled the room and the inside of his ear as she was licking the shell of it as they moved. As well as the obscene noises of their bodies every time he thrust into her. How needy and devastating his name was sounding from rolling from her tongue as they were getting close. But most of all that breathtaking and mind-blowing sensation like none other which was building up inside him as their moves were getting quicker and sloppier.

She half-cried and half-moaned his name out as she threw her head back her whole body stilling as he found her special spot. It was in that exact moment that something which sounded very heavy and something else which sounded very fragile probably fell in the living room, but they didn't care. They could clean up the mess from her powers later. It was a miracle she didn't destroy the whole cabin by now. They never tested her control in this _field_. Well, everything has its first. Maybe the fact she didn't destroy the cabin was a challenge for him to try harder to get her to lose her control.

He gave her a moment before he nibbled her exposed neck and mercilessly started to thrust into her as hard as he could.

When Five let one of his hand from her back between them and pressed his thumb against her clit it was all it took for her to scream. He didn't stop his eyes staying on her and letting her ride through her orgasm while he watched her.

She was magnificent, and if it was possible he fell in love with her all over again. He felt her clenching around him tighter like she was trying to permanently lock him inside her. He wouldn't mind. Hell, he would love to stay inside her like this forever.

He pulled her closer pressing his head against her chest just as he felt himself finally losing his own control emptying himself inside her consequences be damned in that very moment as all was erased by the wave of absolute pleasure that washed over him.

Both of them stayed close to one another in each others' arms for what felt like infinity breathing hard trying to catch their breaths.

He felt her kiss his forehead and sighed before she looked at him her fingers tangled in his now sweaty hair. He didn't care if he needed another shower. He didn't want to move. He just wanted to stay with her in his arms like this keeping her close.

He said looking up at her face. She was stunning.

'I'm yours whatever way you want me, whatever way you are ready to have me,' he told her looking into her brown eyes who shone with calmness and peace, 'I'm yours'

She leaned down and pressed their foreheads together, 'I'm yours too. '

He knew it wasn't an _I love you_ , but honestly he couldn't expect that from her, not now at least, but soon, he could feel it. He could feel it in the way she kissed him and let him fuck her. Soon she would be ready for that as well. But even if she never said it, he wouldn't care, he didn't need her to word it, not after this. After this, he knew he had her just as she had him.

They lied back to the bed both on their sides looking at one another touching, his hand on her back while hers was pressed against his chest again, against his heartbeat.

'I like the sound of it,' she confessed, 'Especially when we're together.'

He smiled at her. He was tired, and yet wide awake.

'Then come here,' he said and pulled her toward him letting her sit on top of him her hand still pressed against his chest, 'Feel it now. It beats just for you.'

'That's the clichés thing I ever heard you say-'

'Everything inside me is just for you, alive, breathing, moving,' he said watching her grin fade away as she took in what he was saying.

'Just for you.'

She watched him for a moment before she leaned down and kissed him again.

When she broke the kiss she didn't get back up but looked at his eyes as she stroke his chest with pure _care_ , 'Then I will make sure it continues to live.'

They kissed again both moving and pressing against one another slowing coming alive again.

They were two fucked up people alone in a cabin away from all which was messing them up. They weren't fixed, not yet. Maybe people couldn't be fixed. People aren't things to be put back together the way they used to be. Then again, Five had a sick feeling, he was never undamaged to begin with. Born the way they were, raised the way they were, there was little left to be emotionally healthy. Yet, in the most absurd way imaginable they were born and raised and grew up the same way. In all the madness of their lives, they found each other since birth then lost and then found again. As far as Five was concerned, as long as he found her again, he didn't give a fuck about all the shit he went to go through to find her again.

_As long as he could hold her and kiss her like this._

* * *

**Koniec**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Thank you for reading and support. It took me forever to bring myself to finish this. If you want leave some feedback. Have a nice day

**Author's Note:**

> A.N: Yaay, finally got over the writer’s block, and finished this chapter. Don’t worry I am not planning another long story. This will just like Your Wife is Here will have like three or four chapters max. Maybe even less :D Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. If you want leave some feedback.


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